The Ashley Timeline of Coolness

I was recently watching that VH1 show, "I Love the 80s" and I about jumped out of my seat at some of the stuff they were showing and then I began thinking about all the things that I could not live without while I was growing up. And here's the list:

4 Years Old = Rainbow Brite



There will never be a toy cooler than Rainbow Brite. I STILL have all my Rainbow Brite dolls stored in my little rainbow carrying case and you can bet your ass I will never sell them on ebay so don't even ask.


5 Years Old = A Beginner Guitar

It's frst guitar in my life :) This is old guitar, my father buy it for me from a friend. I like it :) hehe

6 Years Old = Care Bears 

Yep, I had every Care bear movie, about 5 care bear stuff animals (AND CARE BEAR COUSINS). You could often find my brother and I outside fighting neighborhood bullies with the "Care Bear Stare". 

7 Years Old = Whitney Houston's self-titled CD

Most of my adult life I've spent trying to prevent my mom from showing the home movie of me standing on our coffee table singing "I Wanna Dance with Somebody", to my potential suitors. I'm pretty sure my success rate has been 0-1. 

8 Years Old = Caboodles

I was about 8 years old when I started experimenting with organization. Luckily the habit didn't stick and I still live in my own personal heaven of disorder, incoherence, and clutter. I blame my momentary laspe of chaotic filth adoration on the fact that I had a caboodle. I mean, shit, who WOULDN'T want to organize with that thing. Mine was more of a purple marble color and found it to be a useful place to store pencils, my brother's favorite matchbox cars, stolen tubes of lipstick from my mom's purse, what I thought to be a "wetnap" but what was actually an expired condom from my dad's sock drawer, and all kinds of other goodies that I referred to as "treasures". After about 2 weeks of collecting various items to put in my beloved caboodle, I decided to bury it and the treasures it contained in the woods behind my house (hence the term buried treasure). Sadly, I forgot where I buried it and then we moved. I never saw my poor caboodle again. 

9 Years Old = Hello Kitty!



When my family and I migrated to Virginia when I was in the 4th grade, I was aching to fit in with my new classmates. This could only be done by posessing one thing: a Hello Kitty! pencil box to keep in your desk. See, in Georgia we didn't have Sanrio Surprises (we didn't even have desks!). So when I moved to Roanoke, my parents got me the sweetest, biggest, pinkest Hello Kitty! pencil box ever made. I had my name painted on it with the dots at the ends of the letters. I had not one but 2 locks! I would have surely been a band geek in high school had it not been for that Hello Kitty! pencil box. 

10 Years Old = Quartz



When I was 10 I found (at the flea market) the coolest rock ever. It was purple and smooth and shiny and I was in love. You're probably thinking, ok, well what did you do with the rock? Well, my piece of quartz and I, we'd watch tv together, I'd lovingly toss her up and down while I talked on the phone, I would hold her up to the light and notice the mystifying translucence of my marvelous rock. We'd just hang out. Me and the rock. Yep. 

11 Years Old = my CD "single" of "Runaway Train"



Raise your hand if you wanted to run away when you were 11. Enough said.

12 Years Old = my cordless phone



All the dramatic events of my life unfolded on the telephone when I was 12. I broke up with boyfriends, had fights with best friends, spent hours and hours calling into radio stations trying to request Bon Jovi's "Always" in dedication to said boyfriends. I'm surprised I didn't develop some sort of tumor for having the phone attached to my ear so much. Actually...wait, I do have some sort of lump. Shit. 



Gotta go--phone's ringing.

Sometimes at work...

This is going to be a new type of post that I do regularly to keep everyone updated on what is going on in my office. Hope you enjoy...

Sometimes at work....

I listen to music.

Today's Playlist (on shuffle)

• Paul McCartney "Every Night"

• John Mayer "Daughters"

• James Taylor "You Can Close Your Eyes"

• Howie Day "Secret"

• James Taylor "Carolina In My Mind"

• K.D. Lang "Constant Craving"

• Jack Johnson "Losing Hope"

• Soundgarden "Black Hole Sun"

• Beatles "In My Life"

• Audioslave "I am the Highway"

• James Taylor "Don't Let me be Lonely Tonight"

• Brian Adams "Heat of the Night"

• Audioslave "Show me how to Live"

• Jack Johnson "Fortunate Fool"

• Dolly Parton "Jolene"

• Dave Matthews Band "Grace is Gone"

• Garth Brooks "To Make You Feel My Love"

• Lenny Kravitz "Are you Gonna Go My Way"

• Oasis "Don't look back in Anger"

• Soundgarden "Spoonman"

Yes, this is how I entertain myself at work...with various Chris Cornell projects, a plethora of Jack and James, a few lesbian choices (K.D. and Lenny Kravitz), and a couple embarrassing selections that I promptly turn down anybody gets within earshot of my desk.

I must go...and rock the fuck out to Bryan Adams.

The man just oozes Canadian-ness.

Links of Love

Official V-day Song: "Into the Mystic" Van Morrison
Official V-day Conversation Heart Consumption Count: 0
Official V-day Red Clothing Count: Only 1
Official V-day Roses: 24
Official V-day Roses I saw being bought last minute at Safeway just now: 9
Official V-day use of "V-day": immeasurable

Osama while listening to "Another Sad Love Song" by Toni Braxton.

Here are a few links for your heart day viewing pleasure:

• The highest quality love evaluator of all time

• I love The Office.

• Screw going out tonight, snuggle up with your significant other, cat, or friend and watch this.

• Are you a gypsy? If so, here ya go.

• If you secret admirers are still looking for a gift for me, this would work.

• Of course Al Capone could find a way to ruin the holiday of love.

• The Official fansite of hugs. Coincidentally, all the members are also members ofthis.

• I know one girl that didn't get a rose on V-day...and I love it.

• Though sad, this poem describes love and the lengths of it better than anything I've ever read.

So what if I sleep in a tiara?! At least I have a hot prince making out with me. So what if it's technically date rape? Look at that cape!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Sawyer is NOT going to be my Valentine...

So my boy Nick is out. It saddens me but what can ya do? His lavendar pocketless suit was not up to par. I am sad to see him go however. He made me laugh LOTS.

BTW, I'm making my prediction now: either Chloe or Daniel V will win. Dan is by far my favorite. He's such a genius for being only 24. Oh if he wasn't gay....

LETS TALK ABOUT 'LOST'

I'm going to probably watch it again this weekend (yes, I'm a dork), but I did pick out some interesting details and I've also read a couple things today worth mentioning:

• First and most obviously, Kate's mom was Sawyer's waitress in the diner. What does this tell me? They're from the same town (apparently somewhere in Iowa) so maybe all those theories about Kate and Sawyer actually being brother and sister might be true..maybe even TWINS(you'll see the referense later)

• Also in the diner scene, did anyone else notice the Patsy Cline song playing? Well, I did, and as a country music lover, I also know that she died in a plane crash. Coincidence? Ehh...I don't think so.

• Do you remember when Locke was flipping through all the books in the hatch? Well, first of all, what was he looking for? Another piece of film? Maybe some note leftover from the previous inhabitants? Has he already found something that he's keeping a secret? Regardless, I read online today that the book he was flipping through when Sawyer interupted him was called "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge". I haven't read it but apparently it is about a man called Peyton Farquhar, a southern planter who, while not a Confederate Soldier, is about to be hanged by the Union Army for attempting to destroy the railroad bridge at Owl Creek. As Farquhar stands on the bridge with a noose around his neck, Bierce leads the reader to believe that the rope breaks and that Farquhar falls into the water below, only to escape to his farm, where he is reunited with his wife. It is revealed at the end of the story, however, that Farquhar has, in fact, been hanged and that these imaginings took place in the seconds before his death. Very interesting...does this go back to the whole purgatory idea?

• Speaking of purgatory, did anybody catch the name of the manuscript that Hurley was reading last night? Well, it was called "Bad Twin". The writer, Hurley said, was on the plane. Check this out. His name is Gary Troup. I read today that somebody made an anagram of his name: Purgatory. Weird, weird, weird...

• So yea, the "Bad Twin" book, could it refer to Kate and Sawyer? Are they somehow twins? Maybe..or also, a tidbit that I read today was that Ana Lucia mentioned Scott (one of the twins from season 1 that died). The book might have something to do with the other twin coming back? Also, who the hell does Ana know about Scott (or Steve)?

• Dude, seriously...what is up with Charlie and the black hoodie? It really reminds me of Star Wars. Is this the writers' way of saying he's going over to the dark side?

• Oh, and what was up with the radio getting that crystal clear reception? And the song that was playing...I looked it up today and it's by Glenn Miller. It just so happens that Glenn Miller's plane disappeared while crossing the english channel back during WWII. They never found the plane or his body. Yea, how about them apples?

• Also while Hurley and Syiad were listening to the radio, Syiad said that the signal could be coming from anywhere...and then Hurley said "or ANYTIME". That's gotta be a clue. Are they in a time warp? Oh the possiblities...

• So now Sawyer's got the guns...something has got to happen. I think Charlie will tell somebody where the guns are. I think that next week is gonna be crrrrrrrazy with Syiad torturing the new guy??? Wtf is up with that? Why is he going to pose a threat? Is he one of the others? I guess maybe they think that he is the one that tried to capture Sun?

I can't wait for next week!!! By the way, it's supposed to snow this weekend. I'm going to get a sled tonight!!!

Also, a big shoutout to my pal JAKE who is apparently a frequent reader!

Bacheloring himself out

I have never been into "The Bachelor" before this season for many reasons:

1. It doesn't seem realistic that people are going to fall in love in 2 weeks with 6 million cameras watching their every move. It's juat fake.

2. Why would you want to date/get serious with a guy that is dating 10 other girls?

3. Is it just me, or have all the bachelors been somewhat hideous/giantic douchebags?

4. They live in fucking mansions. That's not real life. What happens when these people go back to their regular lives, in their regular houses, without makeup and hair stylists?

5. None of the bachelors have made it last with the girls they pick at the end.

6. I always thought there had to be some underlying reason these guys aren't married in their mid-30s. Either they have horrible personalities or they're in the closet about their homosexuality. Maybe they have some sort STD that prevents them from getting chicks. Perhaps they are assholes that treat girls like shit. Personally, I'm leaning towards the latter.

So...against my better judgement, I allowed myself to get drawn into the Bachelor hype this year, and gosh darnit, I actually enjoy it. For those still rebelling against the show, meet Travis:

He's in his mid-30s, a ER doctor, more attractive than the last bachelors, and seems relatively nice. His flaw: he's a TERRIBLE judge of character. He's down to his final 3 girls.

Moana is a complete bipolar. One minute he's aloof, the next minute she's all over his balls.

Susan is a wannabe actress who plans to move to hollywood to pursue her career. She actually admitted in last night's episode that "she'll do whatever it takes to pursue her dream of acting". Obviously that means even faking a romance. Boo Susan.

The last girl, Sarah, is the most normal of the three. She's a kindergarden teacher who's from the same town (Nashville) as Travis. I don't know why he's keeping her around. She seems to like him only because they are from the same town and he seems to like her as a buddy, and not the kind you want to have sex with. If I had to pick one girl though, I like her the best. That's not saying much though.

My point is, this season's show is slightly more interesting than in past years. I think these two should be on the show next year:

True love....